1. Choose the perfect time
Sometimes it seems that there’s no perfect time to add in a conversation about using a sex toy in the bedroom. In fact, bringing it up on the first few dates might seem a little awkward, so it's probably better to ask her whether or not she’d be interested after you've built up some trust and communicate it with her. This trust and communication can occur after you've spent some time together as sexual partners, and had an emotional connection too. If you suggest a certain sex toy that speaks of her ultimate pleasure, then this may go down really well. And example might be a cock ring that vibrates or a vibrator for solo and partnered use. When you gain trust in her, generally speaking, this is when the conversation can begin, and although you may not want to speak of all of your fantasies in one go, something small to spice things up may set her mind alight.
2. Ease into the suggestion
Easing into the topic of sex toys can be quite easy if you know how to broach the conversation idea. You might say something like, “I found this really cool review online, and they were speaking about how sex toys can enhance the experience with a partner. It might be fun; what are your thoughts?” Another example might be stating that, “I read this cool article about how cock rings can vibrate and cause the female to become even more excited during intercourse. Is that something you'd like to do?” Asking the question in this way therefore allows the female to feel as though you want to pleasure her, which you do, and you might also tell her that it would be a real turn-on for you if you want to.
Once your partner starts comfortably answering and freely talking about it, you can suggest or show her some options, such as vibrating sex toys. It’s nice to check the manufacturer’s instructions and specifications to learn how a specific toy works.
For instance, determine the varying intensity levels and discuss any customer review or testimonial you read online. This strategy can help your partner realize it’s okay to explore intimacy using such a tool as others normally do. By doing so, you can explore your partner’s thoughts and emotions about using sex toys.
3. Reassure your woman
Reassurance is key here. Telling your partner why you want to introduce the toy is paramount. You can state that you want to add more fun and have longer sessions together in the bedroom or other much-loved scenarios like outdoor play or adventurous sex while camping, as examples. If she knows why you want to do it, she'll be much more likely to entertain the idea as a coupled pleasure rather than just a kink or fetish that you might have. But, in saying so, if you feel that you can open up to her about what you want, then tell her exactly why you'd find such a toy sexy or a great addition, fantasy wise.
A crucial aspect of reassuring your woman is prioritizing her desires, needs, and safety. Tell your woman that it’s okay to say ‘no’ to sex toys during bad days or go ‘aggressive’ if she wants to. Assure your partner that you’ll do the same too.
For instance, tell your woman that she can wear her desired intimate garment or costume alongside holding her favorite sex toy on your next intimate activity. In addition, ask for her suggestions to spark her curiosity and creativity. This open communication nurtures your relationship and brings more trust and excitement to your relationship.
4. Do your homework
Do your research well on the toy you're proposing to use. Sometimes partners can be sceptical about certain sex toys and this is mostly because of the fear of the unknown. If you know how to use the toy well, including all of the safety precautions related to using it (or them, if using more than one), and she'll be much more likely to think about it and introduce the concept. You can also ask her which sex toys appeal to her most. She might like to go online with you and check out some of the toys that are available. Using discernment and understanding will be part and parcel to your projected cause (and the effect which follows thereafter).
5. Shop together for toys
Taking a look together online has been mentioned above already, but this can lead to more of an emotional connection and trust within the relationship, too. You can look at products that you both like (or products that turn you on) and ask each other whether or not you’d be willing to try them. This experience will be an enjoyable one in most cases, and it will set the mood for what is possible in her mind as well as yours. Knowing your partner well in and out of the bedroom is paramount to enjoying great sex together anyway, as many studies have shown. Connecting emotionally and physically is important. This includes trust and openness during conversation, whether or not it’s related to sex toy use or not.
6. Make it easy
If your female counterpart isn't keen on the idea then don't push it. Her comfort-ability in introducing sex toys into the relationship is just as important as your own. Leave the topic alone for the time being and focus on experimenting with other things during foreplay or whilst having sex. And so, adding some extra kisses or perhaps some dirty talk (as examples) might be fun. Alternatively or additionally, maybe give each other sensual massage, sexy lingerie as a gift, or add some fun type of cosplay or fantasy into the mix. Doing this will promote trust and aid your bond together and during your time spent intimately. And now your partner should be far more likely to try sex toys sooner rather than later, and this is because of the bond you are bridging.
7. Gift it!
Why not experiment and give your girlfriend (or partner or lover) a gift. A sex toy she can use on her own as the gift that keeps on giving. In fact, if she can experiment with this on her own before introducing it to coupled play, then it might be something she would like to integrate down the track a little. In reality, if she's using the toy on herself she'll probably be fantasising about you and the fact that you gave it to her as a gift. This is a wonderful thing to do emotionally and it can also give her a lot of physical pleasure when you're too busy or if she's feeling adventurous and you're at work, let's say.
You might be surprised how your partner will react to such a unique gift. Or you might even receive a matching gift, a positive sign that she’s willing to use sex toys with you. So, start shopping for sex toys and ensure you have a creative gift wrap for the big surprise to impress your partner.
8. Let your partner take control
Once you’ve both decided on a toy, you can let your partner take the reins if they like to do so. You might also like to swap the power play around so that you’re in the dominant position, and this might be the beginning of something new and exciting for both parties. Sometimes the adventure or the journey to getting to orgasm can be very sexy, and so using control with a sex toy can enhance relationships in the bedroom or wherever you choose to take it. As an example, you might like to help her masturbate or she might like to do the same using a sex toy such as a fleshlight for you, or a vibrator or dildo for her. Sometimes couples also like to use butt plugs or other alternatives.
9. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?
The most common problem that men have with sex toys is the fear of being left out of the action. You can make sure that this sex toy addition is a win-win situation for both parties. You might do this by making sure that the toy/s you choose are couple-specific, like cock rings or wearable toys which can offer an array of possibilities for pleasure. An example of this might be vibrating panties for her, where are you can control the vibrations from a distance or in public, or a toy that allows you to take control as a foreplay before having sexual intercourse.
10. Turn her into the sex toy!
As we spoke before about vibrating panties, these can be a great example of how you might turn your girlfriend into the topic at hand. She can wear this and you can be in total control, still allowing your manhood to be the main focus of the sexual session if you’re there as the dominant overseer (as a BDSM player, perhaps). This sex toy becomes a means to enhance the pleasure before normal penetration, using it as the yummy foreplay. Therefore, it’s not the main focus, but still a part of the exciting journey towards intercourse.
The take-home
At the end of the day, both parties need to be in alignment with one another regarding sex toy usage. It's no good trying to force any idea or fantasy upon the other though, because this will lead to a breakdown in communication and emotional connection for both parties. When you choose to do something together, the sexual experience can be enhanced well, and so then you're setting yourself up for the win. The last word on this is that communication is always the key (whether you're in the bedroom or out of the bedroom), so that you might both understand one another's needs as people; physically, mentally and emotionally. And that’s the goal here, right?
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