In movies and TV series, characters often have difficulty finding a compatible sexual partner, but once they do, and get to the bedroom with them, all the problems seem to have disappeared, and the last part of the marathon is pretty straightforward. Unfortunately, it isn't always like that in real life.
As a general rule, those with penises have a much easier time achieving orgasms than those with vaginas. There's no one single reason for this unfortunate state affairs, as the inability to reach an orgasm is usually caused by a multitude of factors.
The size of the penis may be the problem, in which case we recommend checking out this blog about sex toys. However, orgasm-related issues can also be caused by mental barriers. In a moment, we'll uncover the most common causes so that hopefully, the words sung by Mick Jagger will no longer apply to you. Let's go!
Don't you want THIS?
Dryness
At some point in your life, you might discover that although you have managed to happily orgasm throughout many years, it is no longer the case. Despite the adequate clitoral stimulation, your vagina might remain dry as the desert sand. You might be confused, asking yourself whether it is possible that your body has decided to switch to being asexual without informing your first, thus making any attempts to reach orgasms futile. Or, perhaps, your old fetishes are no longer able to sate your kinky mind?
Although you shouldn't rule out any potential causes, many women experience similar problems in their life. How wet you get depends on your estrogen levels, and those tend to fluctuate depending on your age.
However, the medications that you are taking could also have some unwanted consequences. It is especially common for hormonal birth control pills to cause vaginal dryness. If your doctor confirms this hypothesis, we recommend switching to a different type of birth control upon their advice.
Goal-Oriented Thinking
If you have spent a considerable amount of time in the corporate world, you might learn that some habits die hard. Even if you don't necessarily think about your work projects in your bedroom, telling your partner how much you love it, while thinking about all the Excel spreadsheets waiting for you on the following day, there might be another problem.
Your friend from work who's been to Tibet 3 times already might often repeat that the destination doesn't matter, it's all about the journey, and you might suspect that it is the primary reason why they hadn't been promoted in quite some time.
However, if you are always very practical and goal-oriented, being present in the moment, without thinking about the reward might not come naturally. Knowing that you cannot orgasm despite knowing the correct technique is incredibly frustrating, but unfortunately, in this case, you won't be able to use those negative feelings to feel more motivated to achieve your goal.
Try as hard as you might, but some mental barriers might prevent you from having any orgasms until you learn how not to stress so much about achieving the ultimate goal. We are absolutely aware that not being able to orgasm is an unpleasant experience, so we recommend trying breathing techniques, or even having a glass of red wine before you get down to the business.
Vulnerability
Some women don't have the slightest problem reaching orgasm when they are alone in their bedroom, with or without the help of sex toys; however, during sex, their body might refuse to cooperate, no matter the amount of the G-spot stimulation.
Similarly as in the previous example, the cause might be hidden in the psyche. If you invite another person to your bedroom with the intention of having sex, then even though you might be craving the act, your body might feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you don't know the other person well enough to show them your vulnerable side?
Maybe you are afraid that orgasm may feel good enough for you to make a funny face, and you are hell-bent on keeping things serious? In this case, it might be necessary for you to get to know the other person a little better before achieving orgasm during sex could become possible.
Or, you might need to stop taking yourself so seriously. No person looks dignified while having their genitals licked and sucked, and it most probably even applies to Sir David Attenborough.
How to Get an Orgasm?
Even though you may think that you know your body pretty well and that achieving orgasm without anyone's help is a breeze, many women at some point in their lives discover that they just cannot get on top of the peak. In some cases, it might be caused by a lack of knowledge about the female organism and of what feels good. As a result, achieving orgasm might be a matter of practice.
Others might become worried about their sexual health and seek medical advice. If you are facing a similar problem, you might even need to visit a sex therapist. Although a temporary lack of orgasms in your life might be unusually frustrating, in most cases dealing with the causes won't be exceptionally difficult, though identifying them might, unfortunately, take some time.
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